Piggybacking off what I touched on yesterday, I wanted to dig a little deeper into the subject of what exactly men deem to be "wife material", and what dictates this? What are some things that you as a man consider "deal breakers", meaning if a woman has particular traits, history, experience doing certain things, etc, that you would determine you could not/would not marry her, but elect for a more "old fashioned" or closed minded female who did not truly meet your needs as a partner?
Now, I had commented after a reader's response yesterday:
People do seem inclined by nature to believe that they don't deserve
good things and perhaps adhere to the old addage "Too Good to be True"?
I think that men say they want those things, and I believe they do, but
I think some don't think that a woman who can possess those attributes
to be perhaps trustworthy? Like maybe she has been this for too many
men, or if I marry her, I cannot trust her? Those things are simply not
true.
A lot of women, myself included who are really enthusiastic
'pleasers', wanting to treat their lover very well and give him his
heart's desire, well--we can really get hurt sometimes. Just because I
am passionate, enthusiastic and talented in the sack does not mean that I
would do those things with just anybody, or that once I was with a man I
adored that I couldn't be faithful to him... I think those things make
me an even better choice for a wife or serious relationship.
Why
opt for the cold, but old-fashioned cookie cutter wife, then go cheat
for what you really need when you can have it all, and we all deserve
the best we can find in another...we just spend a lot of time calling
ourselves bastards and believing we are undeserving of good things in
this life. Happiness is our birthright.
Why can't we stop labeling people, judging people or worrying about what others think about our life and our choices, and choose someone we are truly happy with?
(Women can chime in as well, for your husband/wife boyfriend/girlfriend, this is an equal opportunity blog and no judgement on sexuality from me... I am a happiness advocate.)
Hell this is a tough blog to comment on ;-)
ReplyDeleteFor me friendship and partnership first and foremost. Honestly the sex thing is a long way down the list for me.
I'm sorry, just have had some things on my mind... had to express or discuss... This, as with everything, won't last forever lol
ReplyDeleteOf course Furtheron, I think any relationship best thrives on a strong foundation of friendship, but I also personally need the intimacy and passion to remain a major factor, I guess this varies a lot for everyone... It's very important to me.
ReplyDeleteFunny the difference in people. For my wife it is almost totally unimportant. When I found that out early in our relationship I assumed all wives felt that. Only many years later have I found out that isn't so. I'm a slow and naive learner :-/
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